Have It Your Way
"Let's fly with our eyes closed, eyelids shut. The Pegasus of Perfection always knows the way."
Sigh...
I cut people off in my immediate vicinity like a bad driver tyring their best to showboat with no where to actually go. Or be even. I do all of this for the honor of the sport I loved since I was about 6 years old. I do this to put multicolored socks in the mouths of those that actually shouldn't even have the privledge to be standing across the ring from me. I do this for the yesteryear and all the former wrestlers and ambitious competitors that selflessly moved on or understood that it's not what they want be a part of anymore. And yes, I've said this before. I do this for the sturdy folks that think I couldn't do it. Everyone here is an Oreo Blizzard and I'm hungry as fuck for sweets. My appetite hasn't been satisfied yet. I'll eat all of you one or five at a times in no particular order like a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles. I love the picture. I love the stances everyone has made, but THE GUEST OF HONOR, the SINISTER OF SAURON will be your next champion and I don't care what's actually next like being faded with Netflix asking if you're still watching.
I am a bold catch that doesn't need any more noteriety than I already have, but the Pink Panther has always had a walk better than yours. Better than his and definitely better than Jason Christopher. I didn't think I would have to cross you to get to where I wanted to be - at tt the top of the mountain talking about all the hikes and climbs you've done. You seem more concerned and have always been more flagrant when it comes to creating words for inVader (and yes I went out of my way this time to make sure I respected spelling her name).
Stabitha.
I'm hella sexy with the words, people. I've done the Micheal Phelps backstroke in the circumstances that everyone sees as pure. I've walked the road of holding the middle title, the "OK, you're good, but not that good" title, but this time? No. I'm going to cook all of you BECAUSE I have to - the shop that sells the crabs and I want them fried. I don't know the competitor that demands you looking at me through a kailedscope. No joke. My mind is very thoughtful and my grind is very the one from the GUEST OF THE HONOR. Christoper, I don't think you've ever met a man that doesn't ever wants to back down. No matter what. I will never fold like a lawn chair. I will never give you the benefit of the doubt like the first engagement with someone selling a house or dealing with the fact someone else ran into my vehicle.
I need a second opinion. Insecurty is what I know... when it comes to big time matches like this, but I'm HIM WHEN it comes to Ultra Combat Sports.. It's what gave me my pearl white wings that look better than most wedding dresses. But I'll still cut you like a well paid manicure that's just doing their best. I'll still turn your dreams into nightmares like I'm Meek Mill. I'll still. . make you change your mind more than once like you're at a car dealership and really don't know what you want. Or what you're exactly supposed to be doing..
I've been all of the mystical places and earned dusty spaces that make me entirely more diverse than you. I'm just playing now, Chris, mind you, but I'll make you search for me like you lost your favorite lighter. Fiends. Mindless fiends. I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR. I AM THE MASTER OF MASTERPIECES. I AM THE SINISTER OF SAURON. THE PROSPECT SLASH ARCHITECT.
SIATO GOH.
I am everything you and they want me to be. I am everything you hate at the same time. It's sublime. Dimes in a wishing well. Understand you will fail, Chris, just fail.
You're again, just Jason Christopher, the one adversary that I need to put hands on you like a massage parlor to breach my goals. Old school rules, boy. You just need to take a step back like you were Luka Docic and let me fucking get what I get and I'll give the same oppurtunity that I have Stabitha. I'll give you another shot when you join my cause like mother fuckers that joined the US military. Now go ahead and do me a favor and sign your life away.
Sigh. No lies there.
I cut people off in my stiff vicinity like a bad driver tyring his best to show speed with no where to actually go. I do all of this for the honor of the sport I loved since I was about 8 years old. I do this to put multicolored socks in the mouths of those that actually shouldn't even have a platform to be standing across the ring from me. I do this for the yesteryear and all the former wrestlers that selflessly moved on or understood that it's not what they want to do anymore. I do this for the folks that think I couldn't do it. Everyone here is an Oreo Blizzard and I'm hungry. I'l eat all of you in no particular order like a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles. I love the picture. I love the stances everyone has made, but THE GUEST OF HONOR, the SINISTER OF SAURON will be your next champion and I don't care what's actually next like being faded with Netflix asking if you're still watching.
I am a bold catch that doesn't need any more noteriety than I already have, but the Pink Panther has always had a walk better than yours. Better than his and definitely better than Jason Christopher. I didn't think I would have to cross you to get to where I wanted to be. You seem more concerned and have always been more flagrant when it comes to creating words for inVader (and yes I went out of my way this time to make sure I respected spelling her name).
Stabitha.
I'm hella sexy with the words, people. I've done the Micheal Phelps backstroke in the circumstances that everyone sees as pure. I've walked the road of holding the middle title, the "OK, you're good but not that good" title, but this time? No. I'm going to cook all of you BECAUSE I have to - the shop that sold the crabs and I want them fried. I don't know the competitor that demands you looking at me through a kailedscope. No joke. My mind is very thoughtful and my grind is very the one from the GUEST OF THE HONOR. Christoper, I don't think you've ever met a man like me that doesn't ever want to back down. I will never fold like a lawn chair. I will never give you the benefit of the doubt like the first engagement with someone selling my house or dealing with the fact someone else ran into my vehicle.
I need a second opinion and thats what's going to internally going to make you change your shirt at least five times before you walk outside. Insecurty is what I know and I'm much different. But I'll still cut you like a well paid manicure that's just doing their best. I'll still turn your dreams into nightmares like Meek Mill. I'll still. . make you change your mind like you're at a car dealership and really don't know what you want.
I've been all of the mystical places and earned dusty spaces that make me entirely more diverse than you. I'm just playing now, mind you, but I'll make a search for me like you lost your lighter. Fiends. I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR. I AM THE MASTER OF MASTERPIECES. I AM THE SINISTER OF SAURON.
I am everything you and they want me to be.
You're again, just Jason Christopher, the one adversary that I need to get my hands on like a random massage to breach my goals. Old school rules, bo. You just need to take a step back like you were Luka Docic and let me fucking get what I get and I'll give the same oppurtunity that I have Stabitha. I'll give you another shot when you join my cause like mother fuckers that joined the US military.
My wings bring things you could never even think about yourself and decide to entertain. Like I said, there are only two people in this megaverse thta I would almost be intimidated by. Guess what? Neither of them are U like I'm saying PISS OFF. I'm too thick skinned for what you want to present to me. I'm too seasoned to even think for a fact that what I properly know would even -- fuck that. You're going to lose in this venture like a woman thinking her man of 10 years is going to metamophicaly change.
Not everyone needs the itinerary on the road to not start driving. I am thriving on the levely you had a hard time accepting in Mario Brothers. Others seem to think I don't deseve it as I've not put in the work and that's why THIS works. Picture this in your belittling maneuvers that you could come of up what the sauce that you beat me. Picture it and then understand that I AM THE DREAMCATCHER. That's now this works, my friend. You're the jiblitz punched into your Crocs and I'm wholeheartedly the crocodile. I eat competitors like you on my lunch break Jason Christopher. Dive. Dive. Dive.. in the end, you're just an accolade to me wheneveryone chooses to step up to the SINISTER OF SAURON. Auto-correct or not, that's what I am.
It is everything I've always been.
You didn't see this from the minute the tournamet started? I did. I was only going to beat you or whoever you faced and I can't remember her name right now, but realistically, I was destined to kill you, make you put a mask on your face because a disease or sickness was floating around in broad daylight. Are you a casual, Christopher, because that's what you're acting like. I moonwalk on stars and tell planets like Mars they are not allowed to have bars. And the curfew is eight o'clock. I am the ocelot. I am the killer. I am the twist at the end of the version you heard from your selective group that only follow one another like sheep. This isn't Lemmings, but now, you're going to follow and and all of the peas in a pod you think has pionted you in the right direction.
I am perfection.. at least for the most part.
Pop Tarts or a game a darts? You pick.
I have travelled through the most difficult expedition in the bracket and you got here off of a bunch of NO SHOWS? I know shows. I am the show. I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR, my friend. I am everything. As I go, the company goes. I don't like the fact that you think that you're some bad ass because you beat scrubs in a family that had to do their laundry by hand. I've been there, have you? My personality driven bracelets I wear day to day hold more creativity than you do... or ever will. I am the defenition of willpower. I hate to sour your story, but the gory scenes are all in the words. Look away.
My fists will land comfortably in your mouth like a VAPE, bro. And I already know I've made you second guess yourself. Don't panic, just know this exchange will not end in your favor. I'm the favor, the TRUE goblin slayer that will cordially be the end to your voluptious run like an ACL tear. My bad. I am leveling solo like I've always done. There cannot be two ones and I know I'm not number two. I'd beat you with Covid mixed with flu symptoms. Say hello to the DREAMCATCHER. All money in and no money out. Sometimes it be like that. Want more?
Fine.
Not that it matters to me, but Invader is better than you. Not that it matters, but Stabitha is light years better than you. I even think Winters is better than you when she's done her taxes first, Jason. You're overrated and have been sent to me like a pawn (said it before) ready to risk it all for the better of the KING that everyone aims to protect. Shit, fuck it.. Monroe is better than you.
No, Mercy. Fuck Overwatch.
I shatter realities and create boundaries in this world of wrestling. I fight in a cadence I've learn to freelance with. Don't worry, Christoper, I'll make sure you miss your exit and take a U-turn into traffic without car insurance. I'm too aggressive for you. I'm too possesive for you. Now lace your boots up superstioutlsy like most men do only to be kicked in the jaw with whatever you want to call it when you have the first gulp of a good glass of lemonade.
THE SINISTER OF SAURON is the best thing walking and they see it too like one of them peices of art that change depending on the angle you look at them from.
You're subpar at best and I'm the GUEST OF HONOR, the MASTER OF MASTERPEICES. What can you actually say on this fine evening? I look forward to you like a payday plus commission. I look forward to you like when I get my owned vehicle back and can be done with the rental. I look forward to you like a fit kid loves cake. I look forward to you like a shot from a bar that's only 13 minutes away. I look forward to you, Jason Christopher, like good news when it comes to a new job oppurtunity because you might just need one.
You're COOKED.
I honestly like that you will try to dethrone the man that is ... nevermind. I look forward to you and our epic contreversy that will happen in the ring we both will share moving forward for the belt of all belts. And maybe it is just a work. I've been worked before, but if it isn't, you're have a serious problem on your hands like getting shit from under your fingernails as a United States Navy airplane mechanic.
Get technology.
Where do the borders land? Your shot hits the crossbar. I'm a bar down. GOAL. It's the only thing I think about before I leave my mind at ease. I can sleep to this. I can be myself in the morning when the sun hits the window of whatever hotel I'm in for the night. No family, just me trying to appease the virus presented to all of us when we try to tackle anything in this industry unafriaid.
Unapologetic.
Unnerved.
Comfortable in his own skin.
Solid.
Jason Chrisotpher, I thank you for this time. I am the defintion of sublime and your loss will come sooner rather than later. My ambiguous spouse hate's my ambition, but that is what wins fights. That's what allows you to claim the label of the winner at the end of the day. Those two and gaslighting, I suppose. I'm a master at that too.
The MINISTER OF MASTERPIECES chooses you. And the newly named SINISTER OF SAURON want's your head on a plate like like how fish is brought to a restuaraunt's dinner table in South America.
Hopefully, we are on the same page now. Bow down. THE DREAMCATCHER said so. And he has every right to say so. My talent eclipses yours on so many volumes, Mario 3 levels. I'm a straight shooter and you're coming across as a beveled -- whatever. Your the guy that everyone asks to take the auxillary cord from on a road trip. Your melody sucks melodically.
Eat me. I'm about to break your whole aura in half like a fortune cookie and I don't even like fortune cookies.
Please remember you do still have a future. It just doesn't have anything to do with me, Saito Goh. I am the precausinary committe, the developer of incredible dekes. I am the person everyone in this new thing called the Ultra Combat Sports should be actually worreid about. And besides what you assume, it doesn't mean I'm the old guard. What the Gen Z would label me as. I just don't fuck with the generation you think I should be proficient in. Yours or mine? Ageism, my ass. It should go both ways, right? You Filthy Ramirez bastards are enoquivacally DUMB and hope everybody is supposed to do you a damn favor to get ahead. I am the sole creator of epiphanies that like creations and you're lucky I didint' captiatlize and italisize that knowing that I'm already ahead. Super Sonic. Sega Genesis which I will bring up again. I was there.
I know damn well NONE of you in this organization, including Christopher, could find the lost and found recipe to actually cook with when it comes to THE BURGUNDY FLAME. I am the audacious controller. I am the composer of the kindergarten class that made you feel uncomfortable when called on and expected to read in front of the class.. I killed that shit at a young age and most of you so called veterans were shy like, like a random broad giving up their virginity.
Sickening.
Christopher is the type to not wash his hands after using the restroom. So typical. So boring. Man, I saw you a mile away like an alert on my GPS telling me what turn is coming up. Everybody loves big dogs, but when you step into the ring with me.. you hold the likeness of a Chihuahua, and I'll cover all the logtistics like a financial adivsor that's close to the warehouse personel.
I am THE PARAGON OF PARRIES. The humanity you lucidly dream about and wish you were if you had a choice. I destroy characters while fiendishly turning them in to precise caracatures effortlessly drawn at your local zoo. Yeah, go ahead and give me that forty bucks. My windmill of cursive is more dramatically emmersive than anything that has to do with you, Christopher. Again, I don't know your immediate history or the iffy folklore behind your name because the GUEST OF HONOR would never do that. Or need that. When you see me physically, it will never be calculated as a fairy tale.
Bro, they brought me here to teach you. You were never important with your "hard life" of sex, money and minimumal drugs. You just sound cool when you did hella Aderol, right?
Open stance. Freelance, again. I love that word. My clairvoyent way allows me to stay as the top star of your Christmas trees when viewing or experiencing the holidays. I eat strays like honey badgers. Have I said this before? I am the HAVEN. That's for you John and Jess. And wake up and have no care about where my next objective resides. I slid on this whole tournament understanding that what they want is ME. Pay the fee and then look at your account and realize you already owe me money becuase the parlay hit... especially, when it comes the the SINISTER OF SAURON. I smile and try my best to make it amicable, but deep down, all of you are on the FUCKING menu.
Jason ... Christopher.
You're a bad ass to those that actually respect you and just so you know I do too a little bit. But you're going to throw a the fit of a three year old when I best you for this championship coming up. Our relationship wont be mended until you or Stabitha earns the rematch, but right now? Right now, I'm going to garlgle you and spit you out like mouthwash before a nine to five. PAUSE.
I will not let you save your experience like a Super Nintendo when the time comes. I will pillage your village exactly like I'm doing to you right now. I will put your head in guillotine just to time how long your head squirms before everything goes Wesley Snipes black. I will close my eyes and employ specific spies to take you out like someone that's desperate scrolling though Tinder.
I'm in the auto zone right now and it has nothing to do with car parts. I do get my automobile tomorrow though. No total loss. No bad feelings, but at the same time I want Jason Christopher to know he's reeling, falling back like movie theaters you can go to right now and order a drink while enjoying a recliner.
I'm finer. I'm rich. I'm the asshole everyone wants to call a full blown bitch, but I'll beat all of you mits like you wanted your glove broken in. Sin lives here. Honesty does too, but don't ever think Jason Christopher is behind the cue. Or the cure, I'm going to beat this man into understanding what it is to be pure.
I don't care about your stories or allegories.
I don't think you even meet the requirements either. Seether. You're going to scream louder than an accidental foot to a cat's tail when the upcoming defeat consumes you. This is the wrong scenario for your generic future. This is everything we tried our best to get away from, but the GUEST OF HONOR says you should have it your way.
I am the mage slayer. The tank taker. The DPS of the DPS when it comes the the definition and I don't heal for nobody. Like I've said before, I will strategically break your stance and in the reality... I will be more disappointed than you will when this match is over. I read minds like Professor Xavier and you politic thinking your wit and red brick charisma or fanfare thus far is going to top THE DREAMCATHER? Man, go eat some Frosted Flakes and leave me alone. I came to the store and now the belt is mine like I bought it for my youngest because its his first year playing T-ball.
They asked me to come here for a reason and I think one of those is to bring a new scent to the claustaphobic nature that this tournament brings. If I were you, I would think about quitting. I'm a dog, my boy, when it comes to a Kings Dominion. I am the future like this second, that second, the other second, but don't think for a second you're not going to suffer from the disease that is SAITO GOH.
The pure dedication I put into this shit when I actually want to looks like, well why, I am the MINSTER OF MASTERPIECES. Christopher, a ball point pen has more longevity than you. But just to be as clear as possible... you're dealing with a heralded sniper, a bonafide and colorful, multi-faceted killer. The organization just sits back in a cubicle farm and tells me where to point and I just stay worshiping the bull's eye like an idol.
Oh, yeah, and the the tournament means you're the big game in this hunt, right? Sigh. I'm a problem like a pop quiz in mid level math when it is not your favorite subject. Saito Goh is your demise, my friend, and I won't back down. I'm going to fold your whole persona up like a lawn chair, and yes, the ones with the netting on the right side that could hold a Coors Light. My plight is so much bigger than yours and you. So much more important and I know the grammar police would hate that last sentence.
Jason.
The title belongs to me like I just bought your car. Hand it over and move on like your friends have encouraged you to do based on a toxic relationship. You're that guy that grunts too loud in the local gym making everyone feel uncomfortable, dropping his seventy pound dumbells that he did four to seven reps with... hoping everyone notices you. The only notice we care about over here is your eviction.
Your brain is the size of a hockey puck and you're not a dinosaur. Run your mouth about SAITO and put it in your words. Let's see how it can function when my name isn't Invader. "You're good unless you're an iNvader." That shit is about as thought provoking as a souvenier you got from from Trader Joes. Again, you're cooked, my friend, and I don't even like that I keep saying that because deep down you're everything I despise.
He thought he was good, didn't he?
It's 11:32, so the blues are about to come to fruition. I have socks that have more personality than you. You're in a twat fight with yourself and needs to understand the fact that EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS. And you're not special... yet. Bro wore a helmet to go camping.
He's a peanut butter and no jelly type of guy. BUT GUESS WHAT? HE LIFTS WEIGHTS and thinks that taking the high road is a viable option for him to entertain success. Let's fear the big man who looks like Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Man, be gone with that bullshit. My specific skillset and word play will have you dizzy, putting you in moreworrisome predicaments like a one night stand ended up pregnant, circles like a fucking ice skating or roller rink in prime hours. Your seductive flowers will never bloom here. Got him in rotation like a rotary phone. At best, Christopher, you're a lint roller and I'm the store you buy it from. Welcome to the dance. You're welcome, but you're not going to be able to prance around Ultra Combat Sports anymore.
I am going to wipe that smug smile off your face.
I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR.. and I think after we face each other you're going to understand. What will he understand? He'll undersatnd that all my keys are Alicia Keys. All my rentals are from Enterprise, but I'm surprising. I've never lost or taken a loss when I show up and that's what my cohorts have been telling me. AND for the better of this wave we are creating, I don't give a fuck anymore... I will eat all of you like a breakfast burrito with bacon when it comes my way. Hold the guacamole.
I've matured, man. And that is why they want me to spread you evenling like I was making a few pieces of avocado toast. You know they wanted the condiments. Christopher is just meaningless traffic no matter how much he attempts to be stoic and above it all. My morbid mentality says there are so many things you could obviously hate about a hellacious commute, but I've intimately loved my journey thus far. I honestly took my lumps. You don't know me, but you weren't there either. We all miss the pillars that work for us, but sometimes that's just life. For some. For few, but never for the entitled. Ever.
DRAW FOUR, JACKASS.
I keep wanting to call you Brian, because that's what you look like. I don't matter. Jason Christopher, please understand that you're not capable of fucking with me on any level.. I would do retail, a traffic controler or a garbage mand better than you... even if I was a newb to this game, I would have more prophetic magnetism than you. I properly cut skyscrapers with paper towels and weild claymores that intrest the personalities of owls. They tell me everything. And I already know what to accomplish.
I am the blueprint and not the rough draft. I am the intimidating structure smoking a Black N Mild. I am the GUEST OF HONOR, the MASTER OF MASTERPIECES and newly named the SINISTER OF SAURON, but I don't even remember the name that helped me with one of the nicknames of the ages. I asked her to work and she left me on read like I was a thirsty ex-boyfriend. Is that you? Whatever. I create the majority of the waves when I show up like we're at a water park on the East Coast when I know all of it could only manifest at an humbling ocean made of aged UFC fighters and kiddos learning the skateboard. I am the creation. I don't do it on purpose most times, but at all times like the greatest of all times of any competitive sport. My aim is to dig all of you a ditch and laugh during your eulogies.
I'm in my bag now like a pretty lady looking for lip gloss.
You guys make me sick and it ain't the flu. Especially you, Chris, with the act you want everyone to think you actually are. You guys make me pick and its none of you. You guys make me feel like slick isn't entertainment and then blame it on a hand picked certain few. I don't want you to belive it, so I can indulge you to think outside of the lines like a toddler trying to do her best at a coloring book. I am the ambitious rook on the chess board, but also the Lord of Lies. I just got called a liar for about forty five minutes and I'm not surprised.
Cook, just cook. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK.
My fantasies don't run paralell with me getting my car back tomorrow because I was driving a rental. I honestly don't care what any of you have to say or even if I'm repeating myself becuase my world outside of this sport, is of course, a kailedcope with rusty chains and regrets and dingy nets that effortlessly catch me when I begin to fall. I'm in a bad place, but I would never dissappoint any of yall. The living gall of people. The hurt that comes with winning. The wins that come with knowing you're sinning. How do you choose? Booze doesn't cure everything, but for now I'm finer than Aurbey Plaza. So my fave..
Or does it. I've never been a puppet to sit on worth from yesteryear. I want everyone here to fear me like you just got a female pregnant and you're only a couple decades old. I'm the best right now. I have too much time and should've bugged all of you last year when I was going through it, but best believe, I got through it like a tassle after a sprint sponsored by whatever you want to make it sound like.
I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR.. and I know nothing else. Change the storylines and the "lets do an whatever together" shit, cool, but know, I'm THE SINISTER OF SAURON, THE DREAMCATCHER himself.
What exactly do you want to happen here, Christopher? I've gone head to head with opponents and they quit the carerr path and immediately got vaneers. I'm going to beat you like I'm breaking in a new baseball glove. And I'll do you a solid and sharpen your skates when it's all said and done. T-ball, drop 10.. nah, fam, I'm just going to drop him like a
My wings bring things you could never even think about yourself and decide to entertain. Like I said, there are only two people in this megaverse thta I would almost be intimidated by. Guess what? Neither of them are U like I'm saying PISS OFF. I'm too thick skinned for what you want to present to me. I'm too seasoned to even think for a fact that what I properly know would even -- fuck that. You're going to lose in this venture like a woman thinking her man of 10 years is going to metamophicaly change.
Not everyone needs the itinerary on the road to not start driving. I am thriving on the levely you had a hard time accepting in Mario Brothers. Others seem to think I don't deseve it as I've not put in the work and that's why THIS works. Picture this in your belittling maneuvers that you could come of up what the sauce that you beat me. Picture it and then understand that I AM THE DREAMCATCHER. That's now this works, my friend. You're the jiblitz punched into your Crocs and I'm wholeheartedly the crocodile. I eat competitors like you on my lunch break Jason Christopher. Dive. Dive. Dive.. in the end, you're just an accolade to me wheneveryone chooses to step up to the SINISTER OF SAURON. Auto-correct or not, that's what I am.
It is everything I've always been.
You didn't see this from the minute the tournamet started? I did. I was only going to be you or whoever you faced and I can't remember her name right now, but realistically, I was destined to kill you, make you put a mask on your face because a disease or sickness was floating around in broad daylight. Are you a casual, Christopher, because that's what you're acting like. I moonwalk on stars and tell bars they don't have bars. I am the ocelot. I am the killer. I am the twist at the end of the version you heard from your selective group that only follow one another like sheep. This isn't Lemmings, but now, you're going to follow and and all of the peas in a pod you think has pionted you in the right direction.
I am perfection.. at least for the most part.
I travelled through the most difficult expedition in the bracket and you got here off of a bunch of NO SHOWS? I know shows. I am the show. I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR, my friend. I am everything. If I go, the company goes. I don't like the fact that I think you think that you're some bad ass becaue you beat scrubs in a family that had to do their laundry by hand. I been there, have you? My personality driven bracelets I wear day to day hold more weight than you do... or ever will. I am the defenition of willpower. I hate to sour your story, but the allegory is all in the words.
Nerds.
My fists will land comfortably in your mouth like a VAPE, bro. And I already know I've had you second guess yourself. Don't panic, just know this exchange will not end in your favor. I'm the favor, the goblin slayer that will cordially be the end to your run like an injury. I am leveling solo like I've always done. There cannot be two ones and I know I'm not number two. I'd beat you with Covid mixed with the flu. Say hellow to the DREAMCATCHER. All money in and no money out. Sometimes it be like that. Want more?
Not that it matters to me, but Invader is better than you. Not that it matters, but Stabitha is light years better than you. I even think Winters is better than you. You're overrated and been sent to me like a pawn ready to risk it all for the better of the KING that everyone aims to protect. Shit, fuck it.. Monroe is better than you.
No mercy.
I shatter realities and create boundaries in this world of wrestling or fight I've learn to freelance with. Don't worry, Christoper, I'll make sure you miss your exit and take a U-turn into traffic withough car insurance. I'm too aggressive for you. I'm too possesive than you. Now lace your boots up superstioutlsy like most men do only to be kicked in the jaw with whatever you want to call it when you have the first gulp of a good glass of lemonade.
THE SINISTER OF SAURON is the best thing walking and they see it too like one of them peices of art that change depending on the angle you look at them from.
You're getting beat like a spacebar.
You're subpar at best and I'm the GUEST OF HONOR, the MASTER OF MASTERPEICES. What can you actually say on this fine eveneing? I look forward to you like a payday. I look forward to you like when I get my owned vehicle back and can be done with this rental. I look forward to you like a fit kid loves cake. I look forward to you like a shot from a bar that's only 13 minutes away. I look forward to you, Jason Christopher, like good news when it comes to a new job oppurtunity because you might just need one. You're COOKED.
I honestly like that you will try to dethrone the man that ... nevermind. I look forward to you and our epic contreversy that will happen in the ring we both will hone moving forward for the belt of all belts. And mabye it is just a work. I've been worked before, but if it isn't, you're have a serious problem on your hands like getting shit from your fingernails as a United States Navy airplane mechanic.
Where do the borders land? Your shot hits the crossbar. I'm a bar down. GOAL. It's the only thing I think about before I leave my mind at ease. I can sleep to this. I can be myself in the morning when the sun his the window of whatever hotel I'm in for the night. No family, just me trying to appease the virus presented to all of us when we try to tackle anything in this unafriad.
Jason Chrisotpher, I thank you for this time. I am the defintion of sublime and you loss will come sooner rather than later. My ambiguous spouse hate's my ambition, but that is what wins fights.
The MINISTER OF MASTERPIECES chooses you. And the newly named SINISTER OF SAURON want's your head on a plate like order fish in South America.
Hopefully, we are on the same page now. Bow down. THE DREAMCATCHER said so. And he has every right to say so. My talent eclipses yours on so many volumes. Your the guy that everyone asks to take the auxillary cord from on a road trip.
Eat me. I'm about to break your whole aura in half like a fortune cookie and I don't even like fortune cookies.
Please remember you do still have a future. It just doesn't have anything to do with Saito Goh. I am the precausinary committe, the developer of incredible dekes. I am the person everyone in this new thing called the Ultra Combat Sports should be actually worreid about. And doesn't mean I'm the old guard. What the Gen Z would label me as. I just don't fuck with the generation you think I should be proficient in. Yours or mine. Ageism, my ass. It should go both ways, right? You Filthy Ramirez bastards are enoquivacally DUMB and hope everybody is supposed to do you a damn favor to get ahead. I am the soul creator of an epiphany that like creations and you're lucky I didint' captiatlize and italisize that knowing that I"m already ahead.
I know damn well NONE of you in this organization uncludig Christopher could find the lost and found recipe to actrually cook with when it comes to Saito Goh. I am the audacious ruler. I am the kindergarten class when some of you were asked to read. I killed that shit at a young age and most of you so called veterans were shy like like a random braod giving up their virginity.
Christopher is the type to not wash his hands after using the restroom. BRO BRO BRO BRO, boring. Man, I seen you a mile away like an alert on my GPS telling me what turn is coming up. Everybody loves big dogs, but when you step into the ring with me.. youre a Chihuahua, and I'll cover all the logtistics like a financial adivsor that's close to the warehouse personell.
I am THE PARAGON OF PARRIES. The humanity you lucidly dream about and wish you were if you had a choice. I destroy characters while fiendishly turning them in to precise caracatures effortlessly drawn at your local zoo. Yeah, go ahead and give me that forty bucks. My windmill of cursive is more dramatically emmersive than anything that has to do with you, Christopher. Again, I don't know your immediate history or the iffy folklore behind your name because the GUEST OF HONOR would enver do that. When you see me physically it will never be calculated as a fairy tale.
Bro, they broght me here to teach you. You were never important with your "hard life" of sex, money and minimumal drugs. You just sound cool when you did hella aderol right?
Open stance. Freelance. My claivoyent way allows me to stay as the top star of you Christmas trees when viewing or experiencing the holidays. I eat strays like honey badgers. And wake up and have no care about where my next object is. I slid on this whole tournament understnading that what they want is ME. Pay the fee and then look at your account and realize you already owe me money becuase the parlay hit when it comes the the SINISTER OF SAURON. I smile and try my best to make it amicable, but deep down, all of you are on the menu of the best restuarants in France that I do nothing else but Google.
Christopher.
You're a bad ass to those that actually respect you and just so you know I do to a little bit. But you're going to throw a whole new fit when I best you for this championship coming up. OUr relationship wont' be mended until you or Stabitha earns the rematch, but right now? Right now, I'm going to garlgle you and spit you out like mouthwash before a nine to five. PAUSE.
I will not let you save you're experience like a Super Nintendo when the time comes. I will pillage your village exactly like I'm doing to you right now. I will put your head in guillotine to watch you squirm just to see how you will react to this right now. I will close my eyes and employ specific spies to take you out like someone that's desperate scrolling though Tinder.
I'm in the auto zone right now and has nothing to do with car parts. I do get my automobile tomorrow though. No total loss. No bad feelings, but at the same time I want Jason Christopher to know he's reeling, falling back like movie theaters you can go to right now and take a drink while enjoying a recliner.
I'm finer. I'm rich. I'm the asshole everyone wants to call a full blown bitch, but I'll beat all of you mits like you wanted your glove broken in. Sin lives here. Honesty does too, but don't ever thinkg Jason Christopher is behind the cue. Or the cure, I'm going to beat this man into understanding what it is to be pure.
I don't care about your stories or allegories.
I don't think you make the requirements either. Seether. You're going to scream like a foot to a cats tail when I calmly beat you. This is the wrong scenario for your generic future. This is everything we tried our best to get away from, but the GUEST OF HONOR says you should have it your way.
I am the mage slayer. The tank taker. The DPS of the DPS when it comes the the definition and I don't heal for nobody. Like I've said before, I will strategically break your stance and in the reality I will be more disappointed that you will when this match is over. I read minds like Professor Xavier and you politic thinking your wit and red brick charisma or fanfare thus far is going to top THE DREAMCATHER? Man, go eat some Frosted Flakes and leave me alone. I came to the store and now the belt is mine like I bought it for my youngest because its his first year playing T-ball.
They asked me to come here for a reason and I think one of those is to bring a new cent to the claustaphobic nature that this tournament brings. My jab will touch your more than an iPAD and my kicks from 1996 will make you notice like I wore the Jordan 7s to the meaningful ball of the debutante's. If I were you, I would think about quitting. I'm a dog, my boy, when it comes to Kings Dominion. I am the future like this second, that second, the other second, but don't think for a second you're not going to suffer from the disease that is SAITO GOH becuase you have a Covid mask on.
The pure dedication I put to this shit when I actually want to looks like, well why, I am the MINSTER OF MASTERPIECES. Christopher, a ball point pen has more longevity than you. But just to be as clear as possible. You're dealing with a heralded sniper, a bonafid and colorful killer. The organization just sits back in a recliner and tells me where to point and I just stay worshiping the bull's eye.
Oh, yeah, and the the tournament means you're the big game in this hunt. Sigh. I'm a problem like a pop quize in mid level math when it is not your favorite subject. Saito Goh is your demise, my friend, and I won't back down. I'm going to fold your whole persona up like a lawn chair, yes, the ones with the netting on the right side that could hold a Coors Light. My plight is so much bigger than you. So much more important and I know the grammar police would hate that last sentence.
Christopher.
The title belongs to me like I just bought your car. Hand it over and you need to move on like your friends have encouraged you to do based on a toxic relationship. You're that guy that grunts too loud in the local gym making everyone feel uncomfortable, dropping his seventy pound dumbells that he did four to seven reps with... hoping everyone notices you. The only notice we care about over here is if the rent hasn't been paid or Triple A is offering me a beter percentage.
Your brain is the size of a hockey puck and you're not a dinosaur. Run your mouth about SAITO and put it in your words. Let's see how function when my name isn't Invader. "You're good unless youre invader." That shit is about as thought provoking as a souvenier that you got from an ameutuer game involving a hockey puck. You're cooked, my friend, and I won't even call you that because deep down you're everything I despise.
He thought he was good, didn't he?
It's 11:32, so the blues are about to come to fruition. I have socks that have more personality than you. You in a twat fight with yourself needs to understand the fact that EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS. And you're not special... yet. Bro wore a helmet to go campling.
He's a peanut butter and no jelly type of guy. BUT GUESS WHAT? HE LIFTS WEIGHTS. Let's fear the big man who looks like Sponge Bob.
Man, be gone with that bullshit. My specific skill and word play will have you dizzy, putting you in preditermend circles like a fucking ice skating or roller rink in prime hours. Your seductive flowers will never bloom here. Got him in cirlcles like a rotory phone. At best, Christopher, you're a lint roller and I'm the store you buy it from. Welcome to the dance. You're welcome, but you're not going to be able to prance around Ultra Combat Sports anymore.
I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR.. and I think after we face each other you're understand. What will he understand? He'll understnd that all my keys are Alicia Keys. All my rentals are fomr Enterprise, but I'm surprising. I've never lost or taken a loss when I show up and that's what my cohorts are been telling me. ANd for the better this wave we are creating, I don't give a fuck anymore... I will eat all of you like a breakfast burrito including bacon when it comes my way.
I've matured, man. And that is why they want me to spread you evenling like I was making a few pieces of avocado toast. You know the wanted condiments. Christopher is just traffic. My morbid mind says there are so many things you could obciously hate about a hellacious commute, but I've intimately loved my journey thus far. We all miss the pillars that work for us, but at sometimes thats just life. For some. For few.
DRAW FOUR, JACKASS.
I keep wanting to call you Brian, because that's what you look like. I don't matter. Jason Christopher, please understand that you're not capable of fucking with me on any level ... even if I was a newb to this game, I would have more prophetic magnetism than you. I properly cut skyscrapers with paper towels and weild claymores that intrest the personalities of owls. They tell me everything.
I am the blueprint and not the rough draft. I am the intimidating structure smoking a Black N Mild. I am the GUEST OF HONOR, the MASTER OF MASTERPIECES and newly named the SINISTER OF SAURON, but I don't even remember the name that helped me with one of the nicknames of the ages. I asked her to work and she left me on read like I was a thirsty ex boyfriend. Whatever. I create pulse waves like we're at a water park when I know all of it could only manifest at an ocean. I don't do it on purpose most times, but at all times, I'll aim to dig all of you motherfuckers a ditch like it was my job like I've been called upon during any war from the 1900s on.
I'm in my bag now like a pretty lady looking for her lipstick.
You guys make me sick and it ain't the flu. You guys make me pick and its none of you. You guys make me feel like slick isn't entertainment and then blame it on a hand picked certain few. I don't want you to belive it so I can indulge you to think outside of the lines like a toddler trying to do her best at a coloring book. I am the ambitious rook on the chess board, but also the Lord of Lies. I just got called a liar for about forty five minutes and I'm not surprised.
Cook.
My fantasies don't run paralell with me getting my car back tomorrow because I was driving a rental. I honestly don't care what any of you have to say becuase my life outside of this sport, is of course, a kailedcope with chains and regrets and nets that catch me when I fall. I'm in a bad place, but I would never dissappoint any of yall. The living gall of people. The hurt that comes with winning. The wins that come with sinning. How do you choose? Booze doesn't cure everything.
Or does it. I've never been a puppet to sit on worth from yesteryear. I want everyone here to fear me like you just got a female pregnant and you've only a couple decades old. I'm the best right now. I have too much time and should've bugged all of you last year when I was going throught it, but best believe, I got through it like a tassle after a sprint sponsored by whatever you want to make it sound like.
I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR.. and I know nothing else. Change the ficticious storylines and the "lets do a whatever together" shit. OK, cool, but know, I'm THE SINISTER OF SAURON, THE DREAMCATCHER himself.
What exactly do you want to happen here, Christopher? I've gone head to head with terrifying opponents and made them quit, their myths turned into swiss cheese... they quit the career path and immediately got Skip Bayless white vaneers. I'm going to beat you like I'm breaking in a new baseball glove. And I'll do you a solid and sharpen your skates when it's all said and done. T-ball, drop 10.. nah, fam, I'm just going to drop YOU, Brian Christopher, like a bad habit.
Ultra.
